Advice To Single And Unmarried People

46.4% of American adults are single (117 million). This includes widows, divorced and others that have never been married. According to Jesus in Matthew 19:12, there are three types of single people, single by nature, single by circumstance, single by choice.

In Old Testament culture, marriage was a very big deal. In the New Testament, it seems as if marriage was not such a big deal as outlined by Paul in Corinthians.  During the second, third and fifth centuries, the church viewed celibacy as superior to marriage.  It was as if the virgins were superior to those who became celibates, and they were superior to those who were married.  It wasn’t until Martin Luther came during the Reformation that marriage was a high calling of God.  Marriage is a great thing to advance His kingdom, for families, a blessing from God.  

Singleness is a gift from God.  Being single is not a curse or sickness in your life.  Singleness is a time in your life where you can serve God without distractions; be single and holy.  Not be single and desperate or have any pressure, you should have passion for Jesus and walk in purity and fulfill the calling God has for you.

Being single will not kill you; being married will not heal you. Being married is not an insurance policy for happiness.  

Marriage magnifies what you have, it does not satisfy what you don’t have. Share on X

Pre-decide to choose from your Spiritual Family

“This is what the LORD commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, ‘Let them marry whom they think best, but they may marry only within the family of their father’s tribe.’ ” – Numbers 36:6

Marry whomever you would like of the opposite sex, but make sure they belong to your spiritual family that belongs to your heavenly father. And again in 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul describes that a widow is at liberty to marry whomever she wants as long as he is in the Lord.  By in the Lord does not mean a church attendee, but a person who is holy, humble and honoring.

About 39% of marriages in the US are between different religions. How can people walk together unless they agree?

You can fall in love with anyone but you will not walk in love unless you agree. Share on X

You can fall in love with anyone but you will not walk in love unless you agree. You have to walk in agreement together. We do not marry/date to convert people to Christianity; the Holy Spirit brings people to Jesus, not dating. Do not flirt to convert. You have to get married in the Lord. In a Christian marriage, you are first committed to God, then to the marriage, then to your spouse. Fear God more than your spouse. Find someone who fears God more than they love you.

While waiting, seek the well, not the spiritual wildness

“The Lord God of Heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me, saying, ‘To your descendants I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. – Genesis 24:7

God will send an angel to help. You have to go to the well not the club. Isaac, Jacob, and Moses all went to the well for a spouse. Even Jesus met a woman at the well. Ladies need to hang out at the well that contains the Holy Spirit and Holy scriptures to serve. Men need to go to the well and be servants. Serve God at the well; partners are found at the well.

Pray about your prospects while you’re in the process of waiting

Pray about your marriage. Desperation clouds your discernment, making you unable to see the difference between Satan’s bait and God’s blessing. Pray to God about any anxiety and success. God wants to help you; put it into God’s hands.

God is writing your love story; don’t steal His pen. Wait in God and talk to Him. If you don’t wait on God to bring the right person, you might end up waiting on God to fix the wrong person. The goal is to find the right person for you!

Pay attention to the signs

“Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’ – let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.”- Genesis 24:14

When God wants you to be with someone, He will give you signs.  Here are very important things to consider:

• How do they treat others, especially their friends and family?
• How do they behave in different settings- public and private?
• What kind of content do they consume on social media?
• Who influences them?
• Do you agree with them doctrinally?
• Are their friends mature and respectable?
• Do your close friends and family approve of them?
• Do you have peace about them?
• Can you trust them?

Stay pure and patient in the dating process

“Then he said, “O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham.” – Genesis 24:12

When you find the “one”, this is the time to get a job, buy a ring, and take her to the front of the church for marriage.  Nowadays, Christians cohabitate and say they will get married someday. Being naked with someone outside marriage is wrong. Genesis 2:24-25 details that being naked is reserved for a man and his wife. The bible is very clear: sex is a gift from God in marriage; sex outside of marriage is a sin. Cohabitation is not a test of love; it is a sin of fornication.

Meet the family before making a decision

“And said, “Whose daughter are you? Tell me, please, is there room in your father’s house for us to lodge? – Genesis 24:23

Don’t make a decision until you meet the family. Negative traits that exist in the family can also be in the person you are marrying. Families are either gaining a son or a daughter and they need to know the other person.

Don’t drag your feet

Don’t stretch this out for years. If it’s the right person, make it happen; get married. What are you waiting for?

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