Many walk into marriage with HIGH EXPECTATIONS and LOW PREPARATIONS which usually results in GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT. In the Bible story Jacob thought he was marrying the love of his life, but woke up with totally different story. He thought he went to bed with Rachael, but woke up with Leah. So many marriages are like that, it’s not what they expected. Someone said every marriage has four rings, engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring, and endu-ring. Every marriage has five stages: fascination, irritation, toleration, appreciation and then if you are lucky celebration.

Great marriages have dealt with common myths of marriage. Here are the 4 common myths:

1. MARRIAGE IS A SOLUTION to all my problems. The truth is, marriage is a problem according to 1 Corinthians 7:28. Paul said: If you marry you will have trouble. Every married person can say AMEN to that. If marriage would have been a solution to all our problems, God would not have sent Jesus to die on the cross. Marriage is not a magic pill that will cause all of your addictions to be gone, all of your hurts to be healed and your loneliness be solved.

2. MARRIAGE IS FOR EVERYONE. The truth is marriage is not for all. Jesus said that marriage is not for everyone in Matthew 19:10. Jesus was the greatest single person alive. Paul said that he wished that all be like him; 1 Corinthians 7:7. Don’t ever think if you are single you are somehow sick or something. Singleness is not a disease that needs to be rid of. Actually, the word “single” means being whole and unique. So all of us should aim to be whole even if we are married.

Read: 5 Stages of Manhood

3. MARRIAGE WILL MAKE YOU WHOLE. The truth is, marriage will reveal holes before it will make you whole. Marriage is like a mirror, it will reveal all your flaws, and if you deal with them with God, you will see change in your character and in your marriage. Marriage will magnify everything you have now.

4. MARRIAGE IS A CONTRACT. The truth is, marriage is a covenant according to Malachi 2:14. A contract is basically an agreement between two people for the purpose of protecting their rights, limiting their responsibilities and safeguarding their interests. A covenant is an unconditional surrendering and laying down of your life and your rights while increasing your responsibilities and safeguarding the interests of your covenant mate. A contract requires a part of you; a covenant demands all of you. A contract has expiration; a covenant is eternal. A contract is written with ink; a covenant is written with blood.

God has a plan for your marriage, He wants it to succeed. But the only way it can is if it’s based on the truth not myths.

This blog was written by Vladimir Savchuk.

Pastor Vlad is the lead pastor of Hungry Generation Church, an author of “Break Free” and “Single, Ready to Mingle” and a founder of free online school “Vlad’s School.” To download free e-books, sermon series, small group study guides go to vladimirsavchuk.com