The Key To A Good Marriage

Leaving A Legacy

Psalm 100:1-2 – “Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands! … And His truth endures to all generations.”

That Psalm was written over 3000 years ago. Just think of all the generations that have come and gone since then. Marriage is so important because we are talking about leaving a legacy. We are not just talking about your children but your children’s children and onwards.

The most important decision you can make in life is to follow Jesus Christ; I believe marriage is the second most important decision in your life. Click To Tweet

I know that if you do not do your homework before you get married, it is going to be tough. I am going to give you some tips, clues and Biblical foundations for your marriage.

Marriage Is Under Attack

All you have to do is look at the billboards, television, internet and movies and you will clearly see that marriage is under attack. The devil is really promoting the idea of couples moving in together without being married. It is a temptation.

Marriage is the foundation of our society. Click To Tweet

First let’s hear what the Bible says to wives:

Ephesians 5:22-25 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord… Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

We husbands need a little more instruction, so we have more verses in Ephesians 5:25-33 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church… Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Love and respect are so important in a godly marriage.

Research Into Married Couples

The Pew Research Center surveyed 9,834 adults that were both living together without being married and married couples. They found out that:

  • Married couples are 13% more faithful than the couples just living together.
  • Married couples act more in the best interest of their relationship by 16%.
  • Married couples are more truthful and honest by 16%.
  • Married couples are 16% more likely to handle money responsibly.

The last point on this is people just living together without being married grieve the Holy Spirit.

Joseph Was A Role Model

In Matthew 1:18 and Matthew 2:13-14, we see Joseph was really listening to the Lord. He took responsibility and care of Mary. He had integrity, compassion, honor, strength, a good work ethic and faith. Joseph was listening to God. He was selfless. These are the kind of characters that we as men need in our marriages. According to Levitical law, what could have happened to Mary if Joseph did not take her as his wife? Joseph actually changed the course of history by taking Mary as his wife. Just stop and think what could have happened if he didn’t.  

The Most Marriage Damaging Trait

Having been in marriage ministry for a number of years with my wife, I keep coming across this one character trait that is so important, which is found in James 4:1-3. The character trait that we’re seeing in a lot of marriages today is selfishness.

I think selfishness is one of the root causes of difficulties in marriage. Click To Tweet

There’s something that can circumvent selfishness and it’s from Colossians 3:12-14 – “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”

I thought it’s amazing that on earth we can have perfect unity. We need to put this on like clothing and if you think about clothing, you’re going to put it on every day. When it gets dirty, you want to wash it. That is the confessing of our sins and then you put it back on. This is like washing yourself in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Final Thoughts For Married Couples

  1. First of all check your own selfishness. Be kind and compassionate but ask each other what you see as being selfish in each other.
  2. Be the first to apologize. The one that apologizes first is the most mature one.
  3. Read the Bible, worship and pray together.
  4. Men should go to separate life groups or accountability groups and women should do the same.
  5. Attend a marriage conference or marriage event at least once a year.

For Pre-married Couples:

  1. I recommend that you be engaged for one year.
  2. Look for red flags and listen to family members and friends regarding your fiancé
  3. Go through the pre-marriage class here at Hungry Generation or your local church.
  4. Take care of your issues before you get married and don’t think that when you get married, your spouse is going to make all the issues disappear.


Lord we just lift up the couples both married and engaged couples. We ask that You be with them to guide them, help them to be kind with their words but also to develop a deeper relationship with each other and to be transparent in Jesus Christ’s name, amen.

Sermon by Boyd Wilson; Blog by Edward Gardiner