One night in January, I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. I suddenly woke up at almost 2am.
Now, I want to say this: I have never heard the voice of God audibly. I have only felt what I believe are nudges in my heart and spirit. But that particular morning, I just felt such a strong prompting to open the notes app on my phone.
“Overlooked” was the word that kept pressing into my heart.
I started writing and I couldn’t stop for some time. When I finished, I looked at my notes and read through what I had written. I began to see that God was working all things for good.
All the hurts that I had gone through, all the times I had felt so rejected; in one moment, I saw that God was turning that brokenness into something beautiful. I felt that one day I would share this note with people.
Today is that day. I hope that as you read these words, that there will be a shift in your heart.
I pray that as you read this note, that you allow God to mend any hurt, pain, and brokenness that you have been carrying. I pray that you will let God into the deepest and darkest parts in your life. Once you let Him in, He will do the rest. He will turn your mess into a message of Grace!
January 22, 2020
(Definition) Overlook – to fail to notice, miss, mean to pass over without giving due attention.
We’ve all felt overlooked at some point.
Maybe it was in elementary school, being the last pick for kickball.
Maybe it was when you didn’t get accepted into your dream school or get your dream job.
Maybe it was when your parents seemed to notice your siblings and their accomplishments more than yours and it seemed like they were never proud of you.
Maybe it was when that boy or girl that you had been crushing on for years got into a relationship with someone else.
Maybe it was when your significant other chose to be with someone else when you gave them your all and you wondered where it went wrong.
You have been overlooked by someone. You were chosen over. You had done your best and it hadn’t been good enough for them. You offered everything you had, and yet they left you empty. You trusted, hoped, and loved so deeply.
Thoughts ran through your mind like…
“What did I do wrong?”
“How could this happen?”
“Am I not good enough?”
“Why wasn’t I enough?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
Yes, you were rejected.
Yes, they chose someone else over you.
Yes, you felt so lonely while you cried yourself to sleep.
Precious reader, please hear me now.
God, our ABBA Father, has never once overlooked you. He has never seen you as second, third, or fourth best.
No, He saw you as someone that He fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps. 139:14)
He took time to knit you in your mother’s womb.
He breathed His life into your life.
He created you in His image according to His likeness. (Ps 139:13, Gen. 1:27)
Our Father created you to have a dependence on someone and that someone is Him.
You were created by Him, for Him. (Rom. 11:36)
Human rejection can be God’s divine protection.Paula Hendricks
I really felt the need to share this next: I wouldn’t say I have ever been in a “real” relationship. What I call them is a “situation-ship” – where mutual feelings were shared but it doesn’t get too far past that. After a “situation-ship” ends, your feelings are hurt, but your mind is saying that you shouldn’t be so upset since you had only been with them for a few months. It wasn’t “that deep.”
After a particular breakup, I remember I had such a vulnerable conversation with God. I cried myself to sleep. My eyes were puffy, my face was swollen and I felt utterly defeated. I asked questions that burned my heart and ate away my peace.
“God, why? Why did it have to end? Am I that un-lovable that I can’t keep a guy in my life? I never asked him to make a certain amount of money, to work a particular job, to look a certain way or anything. All I wanted was to be chosen back. I wanted to love on him and help him be better for himself and for You. I just wanted to give him the love You so freely gave me. I only wanted them to choose me back. Why? Is that so wrong?”
I felt God say to me, “Natasha, you are doing exactly what you should be doing. You would have been a blessing to whoever you would have chosen. You would have been a good wife to any of those guys because you were first seeking ME. Your desire to pursue me first makes you a better person – a better friend, daughter, sister and one day, a wife and mother. But know that just because you could be the best for someone, they may not appreciate you. I want you to be with someone who appreciates you and the love you give.”
And boom, healing started happening. After this break up, God began to minister to my heart in ways I had always desired but never could have seen coming. My view on my worth started getting chiseled and refined. I got out of bed with purpose. I felt hope again.
So friend, I write to you from a place of what was once a broken girl. I write to you as a woman who lives gracefully broken before her King. I don’t boast in my own strengths, but instead I boast about His strength in my weakness. And let me tell you, there’s plenty of brokenness here in the life of Natasha Pidgorodetskiy. But I choose to see my brokenness as my greatest strength. He is made strong in my weakness.
Know that you could be the best and still not be appreciated.
Someone’s lack of recognition of your worth does not DIMINISH your worth.
If anyone knows what rejection feels like, it’s Jesus. He is literally THE best and He gets chosen over time and time again. But guess what? You don’t have to “wait” any longer for the “right one.” You are already deeply known and loved by the very best One you could ever have. His name is Jesus. And He is ready to give you love that heals, restores and transforms you.
So, keep your chin up, pray harder, and smile brighter.
Rest in these truths:
You are fully seen.
You are fully heard.
You are known.
And you are pursued by (His) love.
God bless you.
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